@LinkedIn.com/in/joncooper3 on LinkedIn
64/100
The Roast

Jon, your LinkedIn is like a perfectly brewed cup of coffee — bold and somewhat predictable, but still doing the job. Your 'translator between business needs and user problems' line is a classic, like the dad joke of product management. It’d be nice to see you throw a curveball now and then, maybe dazzle us with a 'translator between cat memes and business KPIs'. Also, congrats on the new feature launch! Six months of user research? That's longer than most celebrity marriages, so kudos for sticking it out!

Improvement Tip

Jon, let's spice up that feed. Try adding more spice to your 'builder vibes' — screenshots of features or bloopers from testing would make it more relatable (and hilarious). And remember, clarity is key; avoid sounding like you're juggling too many buzzwords at a Silicon Valley speed-dating event. You've got the chops, now channel that bravery into some bold opinions. Maybe even a contrarian hot take, like why Agile is actually just running in circles. You got this!

August 19, 2025 at 11:10 PM
@Joncooper3 on LinkedIn
58/100
The Roast

Ah, Jon 'The Great Translator' Cooper! With a LinkedIn profile that could double as a generic tech dictionary, you're really out here ensuring that even your algorithm overlords nod along in agreement. I see you're a 'Product Leader focused on creating experiences that users love'—a bold claim considering your posts are about as spicy as boiled broccoli. And don't think we didn't notice the ex-Google flex in your headline; subtlety, thy name is not Jon. Your take on product managers as 'translators' is about as revolutionary as discovering water is wet.

Improvement Tip

Jon, let's sprinkle some sass on that LinkedIn casserole! Try swapping out the bland corporate lingo for some fresh, homemade thought leadership. Share a spicy hot take or two—maybe how product management is like herding cats, or a hilarious misadventure from your Google days. A few screenshots of your MVPs wouldn't hurt either; give us a peek behind the curtain. And remember, even if your product journey sometimes feels like a rollercoaster with no seatbelt, at least it'll be a thrilling ride for your audience!

August 19, 2025 at 11:09 PM
@https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurentbourrelly/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Laurent Bourrelly, the ex-Google product maestro! Your LinkedIn is like a fine French wine—rich and aged, but it could use a bit more sparkle. Your post about launching a new feature is like announcing you've just made toast. Sure, it's great, but where's the sizzle? Also, your headline's so user-centric, I half expect it to ask me how my day is going. Nice touch with the ex-Google name drop; who doesn’t love a little humblebrag? But let's be real—it's like saying you were once a backup dancer for Beyoncé; impressive, yes, but what's your solo act?

Improvement Tip

Laurent, if your LinkedIn were a product, it could use a UX upgrade. Add some more behind-the-scenes peeks of your product journey. Think 'director's cut' not 'DVD commentary.' And while we're at it, sprinkle in some more daring opinions—you know, outside the vanilla cone. Let’s turn that ‘user-centric’ approach into a two-way street. Engage with your audience like they’re the only ones who showed up at your dinner party—because we know you love a good tête-à-tête.

July 26, 2025 at 10:05 AM
@https://www.linkedin.com/in/volodymyr-isai/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Volodymyr, the product manager who's just ex-Googling it in the startup world! Your posts are like a product launch: mostly functioning but with a few bugs in the messaging. 'Launched our new feature today!' is like shouting 'I have a startup!' at a tech conference—everyone's doing it, but few are listening. And your 'focused on creating experiences that users love' tagline is as original as a free T-shirt at a tech expo.

Improvement Tip

Let's spice up your profile with some of that Google magic dust, shall we? Get opinionated like someone who just discovered cold brew—it’ll wake people up. Share a sneak peek or two of what you're building, because screenshots speak louder than cryptic teasers. And while you're at it, engage with your network like you're at a networking event with an open bar—get chatty, not sloppy!

July 23, 2025 at 02:14 PM
@https://www.linkedin.com/in/chethan-h-a7b355112/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Chethan, the ex-Googler with a headline so predictable, it must have been generated by auto-complete. Your profile screams 'product manager' like a toddler screams 'I want a cookie!'—loud and clear but not particularly nuanced. Your posts give off the air of someone who's spent more time crafting 'user-centric solutions' than crafting compelling LinkedIn content. I mean, six months for a feature? Is this feature a complex AI model or did you just spend five months deciding between two shades of blue?

Improvement Tip

Let's jazz things up, shall we? Sprinkle some spicy takes into that vanilla sundae of yours, and maybe add a dash of storytelling flair. Share some epic fails, wild assumptions, or that one time you accidentally sent an email to the CEO instead of your team. Trust me, people love a good 'oops' moment. And for Pete's sake, throw in a picture of your dog wearing a tie. Nothing says 'trustworthy product manager' like a well-dressed puppy.

July 15, 2025 at 12:16 PM
@linkedin.com/in/keira-nesdale-b287899b/ on LinkedIn
28/100
The Roast

Keira, your LinkedIn profile is the business equivalent of eating plain rice cakes. Let's start with your headline: 'Product Manager | Building user-centric solutions | Ex-Google.' Ah, the ex-Google flex. That's like saying you were once in a room where genius happened, but you were just holding the door open. Your skills list is like a buzzword bingo card in a corporate meeting. 'Product Management, User Research, Data Analysis, Agile Methodologies' – I was expecting 'Synergistic Solutions' and 'Value-Driven Paradigms' next. Your posts? They scream 'I Googled how to sound innovative,' but all I got was a rerun of stock photo motivation. You're cruising on autopilot in the 'blah' lane, and the scenery is just as exciting.

Improvement Tip

Keira, it's time for a reality check. First, drop the ex-Google badge unless you're planning to launch a line of t-shirts that say 'I Survived Google.' Start posting real insights from the trenches instead of these corporate pillow talk lullabies. Share your builds, failures, and learnings – not just the Instagrammed version of product management. Ditch the jargon buffet and talk to your audience like they're more than just buzzword collectors. Finally, engage with your community like you actually care about what they have to say, rather than treating LinkedIn like a one-way confession booth.

July 12, 2025 at 03:54 PM

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