@https://www.linkedin.com/in/chethan-h-a7b355112/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Chethan, the ex-Googler with a headline so predictable, it must have been generated by auto-complete. Your profile screams 'product manager' like a toddler screams 'I want a cookie!'—loud and clear but not particularly nuanced. Your posts give off the air of someone who's spent more time crafting 'user-centric solutions' than crafting compelling LinkedIn content. I mean, six months for a feature? Is this feature a complex AI model or did you just spend five months deciding between two shades of blue?

Improvement Tip

Let's jazz things up, shall we? Sprinkle some spicy takes into that vanilla sundae of yours, and maybe add a dash of storytelling flair. Share some epic fails, wild assumptions, or that one time you accidentally sent an email to the CEO instead of your team. Trust me, people love a good 'oops' moment. And for Pete's sake, throw in a picture of your dog wearing a tie. Nothing says 'trustworthy product manager' like a well-dressed puppy.

July 15, 2025 at 12:16 PM
@0xSwag03 on X (Twitter)
63/100
The Roast

Ah, @0xSwag03, you're like the blockchain version of a dad joke—safe, reliable, and just a bit predictable. Your tweets are as secure as your audit results, but let's be real, even Fort Knox could use a little sparkle. You're building while others snooze, but let's not get too comfy with the warm fuzzies of bear markets and tokenomics bedtime stories.

Improvement Tip

Hey, security is sexy—don't get me wrong. But sprinkle a bit of spice in there. Maybe try a spicy hot take or a dash of controversy; you know, like adding sriracha to your tweets. And remember, 'shipping features' is great, but giving us a peek behind the scenes would make the audience feel like they're getting the VIP tour, not just a brochure. Keep up the good work, just add a twist of lime and keep us awake!

July 15, 2025 at 12:15 PM
@Ajeetjhurawat on X (Twitter)
68/100
The Roast

Ajeet, your tweets are like the Swiss Army knife of the Twitterverse: useful, multi-functional, but sometimes a tad overwhelming. You're building faster than my morning coffee brews, but let's be honest, 'this feature is going to change everything' is as overused as disclaimers in infomercials. And congrats on that 300% community growth—did you count the bots too, or just the people pretending to be them?

Improvement Tip

Ajeet, let's spice up your Twitter game. Instead of 'late night coding session,' try 'up so late coding I think I saw my laptop grow a beard.' Show us the gritty, messy, real side of your work. And next time, when you announce a 10x improvement, throw in a dazzling GIF or meme. Memes are the true currency of Twitter engagement—it's science.

July 15, 2025 at 11:06 AM
@jbnixxin01 on X (Twitter)
62/100
The Roast

Ah, @jbnixxin01, the modern-day Shakespeare of startup Twitter with a plot twist: the plot never quite thickens. Your tweets are like the IKEA of thought leadership - we get the gist, but we're still trying to find the Allen wrench. 'Always be optimizing' sounds like it came from the motivational poster hanging in your mom's basement, right next to 'Live Laugh Love'. And congrats on hiring the first full-timer - is that engineer also moonlighting as your Twitter ghostwriter? Asking for a friend.

Improvement Tip

To tighten the screws on your Twitter presence, let's add some real meat to those tweets. Document the nitty-gritty of your pricing pivots like it's the next great startup novel, and share more of those customer insights that sometimes spark genius. While you're at it, sprinkle in a bit more of your unique flavor. We know there's a spicy take buried in there somewhere, just waiting to be unleashed like a dragon in a tech dungeon. Keep building and tweeting, just maybe with a bit more spice and a little less generic seasoning.

July 15, 2025 at 09:49 AM
@maciekwitowski on Instagram
52/100
The Roast

Ah, @maciekwitowski, the Instagram feed of an 'entrepreneur' who’s mastered the art of productivity... in aesthetic coffee shots and mirror selfies. Your bio suggests empire building, but your posts feel more like building a Pinterest board of motivational clichés. I must say, your commitment to the #entrepreneurlife almost rivals Shakespeare's dedication to the English language, except he actually created something new. Maybe swap those quotes for some actual quotes in a code editor?

Improvement Tip

Try trading some of those sunset workouts for snapshots of tangible progress on your 'empire'—and no, a flat lay of your coffee doesn't count. Show us the building blocks, not just the boardroom attire. More MVPs, fewer IG filters. Remember, credibility isn't built on hashtags alone, so sprinkle in some substance with the style. Your audience will appreciate the transparency, and who knows, maybe you'll inspire more than just likes!

July 15, 2025 at 07:17 AM
@kahtaf on X (Twitter)
63/100
The Roast

Ah, @kahtaf, the philosopher of the bear market and the guardian of the clean audit. Your tweets are like a sensible pair of socks—reliable and perhaps a little too familiar. While you’re busy shipping features in the dark, let’s hope you’re not mistaking the shadows for your audience.

Improvement Tip

Try sprinkling a bit of cayenne pepper on your blockchain. Add a spicy contrarian take or a glimpse of your MVP in the wild. And hey, don't just whisper sweet nothings about token economics—shout them with a megaphone! Remember, even bears like a little entertainment while hibernating.

July 15, 2025 at 02:16 AM
@vanavanavanavanavana on X (Twitter)
72/100
The Roast

Ah, @vanavanavanavanavana, the maestro of startup Twitter opera! Your tweets are like a thrilling rollercoaster ride—one minute, you're rocketing skyward with AI agents automating support, the next you're plummeting into the valley of 'deck believers'. If your Series A conversations get any hotter, they'll need their own fire extinguisher. Meanwhile, those late-night coding sessions have me wondering if you're powered by caffeine or sheer optimism. And hey, 300% community growth? Are you sure you didn't accidentally launch a cult?

Improvement Tip

Consider sprinkling in a pinch more transparency, like what's in those mysterious late-night features. Give your audience something to chew on beyond the sizzle of 'changing everything'. And remember, while gratitude for early believers is great, keep the rest of us in the loop so we can join the hype train. Your tweets are worthy of more than just cranking up the volume on the buzz machine. Keep building, keep sharing, and maybe toss in a meme or two—because who doesn't love a good startup meme?

July 15, 2025 at 02:14 AM
@askasdkaskkaka on Instagram
45/100
The Roast

Well, @askasdkaskkaka, if Instagram were a marathon, you'd be the person running in circles, holding a motivational quote on a coffee cup. That 'Success is not final, failure is not fatal' post might have 15K likes, but it screams 'I Googled motivational quotes and went with the first thing I found.' Your mirror selfie screams business casual, but also whispers 'I might be hiding under my desk from productivity.'

Improvement Tip

Let's swap that coffee flat lay for a blueprint of your next big idea. Show us something tangible that says, 'I'm more than my morning latte.' Try incorporating some snapshots of your actual work-in-progress; otherwise, we might mistake your 'Day in my life' highlights for a glamorous Truman Show episode. We all love a good motivational quote, but sprinkle some originality in there – perhaps a 'Lesson learned' from your own journey?

July 15, 2025 at 02:13 AM
@artieart_ on Instagram
47/100
The Roast

Ah, @artieart_, the quintessential 'entrepreneur' whose empire is suspiciously built on caffeine and mirror selfies. Your Instagram screams 'I'm busy' but whispers 'doing what exactly?' with the finesse of a motivational poster in an office break room. Clearly, the sunset workout is a metaphor for 'grinding' and 'grinding' is a metaphor for doing lunges while looking thoughtful. And that 'success is not final' quote? 15K likes? That's a lot of people lured by the power of a coffee cup in strategic lighting.

Improvement Tip

Alright, let's build that empire one post at a time. First, swap the coffee quotes for actual insights on what you're working on—unless you're an aspiring barista, then by all means, keep the beans. Show us some behind-the-scenes of what you're building, not just your biceps at sunset. And sprinkle some authenticity into that mirror selfie—maybe a snippet of your latest project or a quirky mishap. Remember, people love a good plot twist more than a stock photo quote!

July 15, 2025 at 02:11 AM
@dondo_eth on X (Twitter)
67/100
The Roast

Ah, @dondo_eth, the modern-day philosopher of the 'work hard, tweet harder' ethos! Congrats on the community growth — although if my grandma joined Twitter, her follower count would probably grow 300% too! Shipping a new AI agent for customer support? Fantastic! Now if they could only automate the existential crisis of late-night coding sessions! 🚀🔥

Improvement Tip

While the 'building in public' mantra is admirable, try adding a splash of context next time. Not everyone can decipher 'this new feature is going to change everything' without a Rosetta Stone. A little clarity goes a long way, kind of like coffee in those late-night code binges. Keep tweeting, but maybe aim for less enigmatic proclamations and more 'aha!' moments for your followers!

July 15, 2025 at 01:42 AM
@google on Instagram
47/100
The Roast

Oh @google, if sunsets and flat whites built empires, I'd be queen of the universe by now. Your 'grinding even when the sun goes down' post is giving me more influencer vibes than entrepreneur fire. But hey, at least you're not spending your nights binge-watching Netflix documentaries on success while devouring a tub of ice cream. And that 'Success is not final, failure is not fatal' quote? Gandhi called, he wants his philosophy back. 😂

Improvement Tip

Listen, your current Instagram is like a motivational poster factory: inspiring, but just a tad too mass-produced. Try swapping a few sunsets for screenshots of your actual empire-building progress. A good 'before and after' of your startup's journey could do wonders. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, but it certainly wasn't built with just caffeine and sunsets either. Spice it up with some real entrepreneurial action!

July 15, 2025 at 01:14 AM
@kahtaf on Instagram
47/100
The Roast

Ah, @kahtaf, where motivational quotes and #girlboss vibes collide into a whirlwind of basic! It's like you're trying to say 'I'm an entrepreneur, really!' but your posts are more cliché than a pumpkin spice latte in fall. We get it, you have a mirror... and you're not afraid to use it.

Improvement Tip

Listen, you've got the enthusiasm of a motivational speaker on a caffeine high, but let's channel that energy into something more substantial. How about sharing a behind-the-scenes look at a project or a business insight? Less 'board meeting vibes,' more 'here's why this meeting matters.' Trust me, your followers will love a peek behind the curtain more than another flat lay of your morning brew. And maybe, just maybe, lay off the hashtag overload. #LessIsMore

July 15, 2025 at 01:12 AM
@twocatsgallery on Instagram
52/100
The Roast

Oh @twocatsgallery, where do I start? Your Instagram is like a smoothie made with kale and too much water — I see the health benefits, but all I'm tasting is bland. The board meeting selfie screams 'girlboss,' but we've seen more originality at a corporate team-building workshop. Your coffee flat lay is cute, but the quote? It's as fresh as last week's bread. And though I admire your dedication to 'grinding even when the sun goes down,' it feels more 'Instagram influencer' than 'entrepreneurial trailblazer.' Your 'Day in my life' highlight is a nice touch, but let's be real, most of us are just sipping coffee in pajamas until noon.

Improvement Tip

Consider swapping the generic motivational quotes for some real talk about your challenges and learnings. We love a good 'girlboss' moment, but let's add a sprinkle of vulnerability and a dash of uniqueness. Show us the behind-the-scenes of your #entrepreneurlife; we want to see the messy desks and the accidental coffee spills. And for the love of all that's social media, give us something we haven't seen on every other feed. You're building something — don't be afraid to make a little noise!

July 15, 2025 at 12:55 AM
@artiart_ on Instagram
49/100
The Roast

Ah, @artiart_, it's like reading the script of a reality TV entrepreneur montage. With posts like 'Grinding even when the sun goes down' and 'Board meeting vibes', you're serving us some classic #girlboss bingo. Unfortunately, 'Building my empire' is more mystery novel than biography at this point. But kudos on that mirror selfie; it's not every day we see such dedication to business casual chic!

Improvement Tip

Time to throw some real bricks into that empire, my friend! Consider sharing more of what goes on behind the curtain rather than just the polished performance. Show us the blueprints, not just the glossy renderings. Trust me, 'Day in my life' is a highlight; 'Stuff I Actually Build' would be a blockbuster. And remember, hashtags are like seasoning—sprinkle, don’t pour.

July 15, 2025 at 12:33 AM
@Dwalker9245 on Instagram
52/100
The Roast

Oh @Dwalker9245, you're trying to be the motivational poster child of Instagram, aren't you? That coffee flat lay quote is as original as a cat meme in 2010. And 'grinding even when the sun goes down'? The only thing that's grinding is my teeth. Your bio reads like you're the main character in a Hallmark movie about finding love and launching a startup. But hey, 15K likes for that quote means even clichés have their fans, so props to you for knowing your audience!

Improvement Tip

Let's get some actual substance in here, shall we? Instead of just showing us your morning routine like a 'day in the life' YouTube vlog, how about a peek into what you're building in that 'empire'? Share some progress, some failures, some actual nitty-gritty of entrepreneurship. Give us a reason to follow besides the quotes that belong on Pinterest. And maybe, just maybe, a workout pic with a little less #entrepreneurlife and a bit more #actualprogress?

July 14, 2025 at 04:28 PM
@Jackdwallis on Instagram
52/100
The Roast

Ah, @Jackdwallis, the Instagram Picasso of 'success quotes' and 'morning routines.' Your feed is like a caffeine-fueled motivational poster factory, which might explain the 15K likes on your flat lay coffee masterpiece. Clearly, your empire is built on a solid foundation of caffeine and sunsets. And those 'board meeting vibes'? Nothing screams 'girlboss' like a mirror selfie in business casual. Just remember, wearing a blazer doesn't make you the next Steve Jobs - but hey, at least you're trying!

Improvement Tip

Alright, Jack (or should I say 'Jackie of all trades'?), let's bring some substance to this style parade. Try showcasing concrete projects or lessons learned from your entrepreneurial journey. Your followers would love to see the mastermind behind the mirror selfies and sunset workouts. And maybe sprinkle in a few less 'fortune cookie' quotes; they might be sweet, but they're not exactly filling. Keep the energy up, but let's add some meaningful calories to that Instagram diet!

July 14, 2025 at 08:07 AM
@_sonsofthesouth_ on Instagram
47/100
The Roast

Ah, @_sonsofthesouth_, your Instagram seems to be a bingo card of founder clichés! You've got the 'business casual mirror selfie'—classic. That sunset workout? It's like the moonlighting gig of your Instagram game. And who can forget the coffee flat lay? You've brewed up 15K likes, but not much originality. Your posts have the excitement of a LinkedIn motivational poster, but hey, at least you're on-brand for the 'girlboss' business casual scene.

Improvement Tip

Here's a latte advice with extra shots of humor: Try brewing some unique content! We know you love a good quote, but how about showcasing your actual work or some behind-the-scenes magic? Less 'sunset workout' and more 'sunrise hustle', if you know what I mean. Show us the 'grind' without the predictable hashtags. Mix it up with some genuine insight or a daring opinion. Remember, the world is your oyster... with a better caption!

July 14, 2025 at 01:14 AM
@jmcc0 on Instagram
52/100
The Roast

Ah, @jmcc0, the self-proclaimed 'girlboss' of Instagram! Your posts are like a motivational quote generator collided with a Hallmark store. Your 'Board meeting vibes' selfie screams more 'Zoom call from the waist up' than actual empire-building. The sunset workout pic is inspiring, but grinding after dark could just mean you forgot to schedule your day properly. And that coffee flat lay? It's got more likes than your nearest Starbucks, but it's the kind of generic inspiration that even a mug would roll its eyes at. You're working hard for sure, but maybe not as hard as your Instagram filters.

Improvement Tip

Alright CEO-in-the-making, let's turn those clichés into currency. How about turning that 'Day in My Life' highlight into a behind-the-scenes of actual projects? Less coffee shop philosophy, more 'here's how I saved $10k in overhead costs'. And remember, the truth may not set you free on Instagram, but it can certainly set you apart. Show us the nitty-gritty of your empire building, not just the highlight reel. Keep hustling, but maybe with a bit more nuance and a tad less sepia.

July 13, 2025 at 10:00 AM
@cxqmaggie on X (Twitter)
62/100
The Roast

Ah, @cxqmaggie, the subtle art of tweeting as if one is filming a superhero movie trailer - cue dramatic music! Your tweets are like a symphony of startup clichés, strumming the hearts of every hopeful entrepreneur. But let's face it, 'building the future of DeFi' and 'while others are sleeping' have been said more times than I've heard the term 'synergy' in boardrooms. I mean, if I had a cryptocurrency for every time I read 'we're still early,' I'd be able to fund my own space mission by now!

Improvement Tip

Dare I say, Maggie, let's jazz up those tweets! Instead of 'shipping while others are sleeping,' why not spice it up with 'coding until my coffee is in double digits'? Show us those MVPs with screenshots that say 'look Mom, no hands!' And remember, while the bear market is for building, Twitter is for entertaining! Let's see more of that witty, unique voice that I know is buried somewhere under those smart contracts!

July 13, 2025 at 09:59 AM
@Collins.michael1 on Instagram
53/100
The Roast

Oh, Collins.michael1, you're the entrepreneurial version of a motivational poster! Your sunset workout pic is giving more 'influencer warm-up' than 'CEO cooldown,' and that mirror selfie might be more 'girlboss' than 'boss girl.' But hey, at least you're consistently bringing those board meeting vibes, even if it feels like a board meeting with yourself.

Improvement Tip

Try to blend a little more substance with your style. Share some of the grit behind that glamorous empire building—like a startup horror story or two. Show us the build behind the gloss, and maybe a little less 'sunset' and more 'sunrise' on the things that actually get done!

July 13, 2025 at 09:12 AM

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