@https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurentbourrelly/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Laurent Bourrelly, the ex-Google product maestro! Your LinkedIn is like a fine French wine—rich and aged, but it could use a bit more sparkle. Your post about launching a new feature is like announcing you've just made toast. Sure, it's great, but where's the sizzle? Also, your headline's so user-centric, I half expect it to ask me how my day is going. Nice touch with the ex-Google name drop; who doesn’t love a little humblebrag? But let's be real—it's like saying you were once a backup dancer for Beyoncé; impressive, yes, but what's your solo act?

Improvement Tip

Laurent, if your LinkedIn were a product, it could use a UX upgrade. Add some more behind-the-scenes peeks of your product journey. Think 'director's cut' not 'DVD commentary.' And while we're at it, sprinkle in some more daring opinions—you know, outside the vanilla cone. Let’s turn that ‘user-centric’ approach into a two-way street. Engage with your audience like they’re the only ones who showed up at your dinner party—because we know you love a good tête-à-tête.

July 26, 2025 at 10:05 AM
@https://www.facebook.com/Charlesvandendriesschebol on Facebook
47/100
The Roast

Charles, your profile is like a motivational poster in a dentist's office – trying hard to be profound but mostly making people want to flip through a magazine. Your posts carry about as much weight as a feather in a vacuum, with Sunday thoughts that are more bland than grandma's oatmeal. But hey, at least you're supporting local businesses like a true hometown hero; that's something to click 'like' about!

Improvement Tip

To start firing on all cylinders, Charles, let's try this: swap the philosophical musings with some spicy insights into your niche – that is, if we can figure out what it is. Share some behind-the-scenes shots of your hustle; we want to see more action and less abstract contemplation. Your engagement is like a ghost town, so try commenting more on others' posts to build that digital street cred. Remember, the internet is like your Aunt Mildred – it loves a good story!

July 25, 2025 at 11:03 PM
@Charles_vandend on X (Twitter)
72/100
The Roast

Charles, your tweets are like the startup world's version of a motivational poster—uplifting, but a bit like watching a TED talk through a keyhole. Hiring your first full-time engineer is great, but announcing it on X like you just discovered fire is a bit much. And congrats on the $100K ARR milestone! It's like finding out your startup can finally pay for its own Netflix account. As for pivoting the pricing strategy, I hope you're not just moving numbers around like a digital feng shui master. And those customer feedback sessions? You’re right, sometimes the best ideas do come from listening, but remember, sometimes they also come from not drinking too much coffee before reading feedback.

Improvement Tip

To take your tweet game to the next level, try mixing in a little more specificity and a dash of the unexpected. Celebrate hiring your engineer by showing a snazzy 'welcome to the madhouse' meme or share something unique from the customer feedback sessions that made you laugh or cry. Your tweets are like a startup's Tinder profile—tell us less about what you think we want to hear and more about the quirks that make your journey uniquely yours. You’ve got the ingredients; now let’s see the secret sauce!

July 25, 2025 at 10:59 PM
@<script>alert('test');</script> on Facebook
42/100
The Roast

Ah, @<script>alert('test');</script>, your Facebook profile is like a motivational seminar held in a very echoey room. You've got the family vacation pics and quotes that have more miles on them than your luggage. And that Sunday thought post? It’s like a cold leftover from a self-help book buffet. Your signal-to-noise ratio is like a dial-up internet connection—lots of noise, little signal. Give us something a little more than 'what does success mean to you?' and maybe less 'inspirational quote of the day.'

Improvement Tip

Look, we’ve all shared a motivational quote or two in our day, but let's spice things up a bit! Try sharing some personal wins, some lessons from your 'always learning' lifestyle, or even the smallest MVP you're tinkering with. And while family photos are lovely, they could use a side of 'here’s what I’m building when I’m not avoiding sunburn.' You’ve got a story, and trust me, your journey is a bit more exciting than a Hallmark card. Dive into the niche you’re passionate about and give us some flavor beyond vanilla!

July 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
@<h1>test</h1> on X (Twitter)
62/100
The Roast

Oh @<h1>test</h1>, it seems you're the philosophical sage of Web3. With tweets chanting the sacred mantras of 'utility' and 'long-term growth', it's like you've combined the mysteries of blockchain with a TED Talk on patience. I half-expected your next tweet to be 'one does not simply walk into DeFi without tokenomics'. At least you didn’t end a tweet with 'to the moon' 🚀, so points for restraint!

Improvement Tip

Alright, Web3 wizard, here’s a spell to amplify your presence: sprinkle some variety into your potion of tweets. Mix those philosophical insights with tales of your heroic debugging adventures, or maybe a meme or two. Show us the battle scars of coding at 3 AM rather than just the clean audit results. Remember, while your tweets are a smooth jazz concert in terms of tone, a little rock and roll can make the audience leap from their seats!

July 25, 2025 at 10:56 PM
@fabien_elharrar on X (Twitter)
57/100
The Roast

Fabien, your tweets read like a startup fortune cookie that's been left slightly ajar—some wisdom leaks out, but there's a draft. 'Startup life means solving problems you never knew existed' is the entrepreneur's version of discovering socks disappear in the dryer, while 'working on something that could change how people think about [industry]' is both mysterious and suspiciously like an infomercial. And hey, if 'raising capital is a full-time job,' then congrats on the career in panhandling! Kudos for the 'small but mighty' team message; it's the startup equivalent of saying 'I like long walks on the beach.'

Improvement Tip

Try adding some spice to the soup of generic startup wisdom. Dive deeper into your 'something that could change how people think about [industry]' without sounding like a Bond villain hinting at their master plan. Mix in a few more concrete details or anecdotes to give followers a taste of your world without needing a decoder ring. And remember, a pinch of humor never hurt anyone's brand—except maybe that one time someone tried to pitch a whoopee cushion app.

July 25, 2025 at 10:54 PM
@https://kevin-benabdelhak.fr/ on X (Twitter)
62/100
The Roast

Kevin, your tweets are like a startup's first hire: promising but still finding their rhythm. The 'late-night coding session' post is about as rare in the startup world as coffee at a tech conference. And while 'building in public' is the new black, saying it grew your community 300% is the tweet equivalent of wearing a 'World's Best Boss' mug without irony. Kudos for the gratitude post – though it reads like a founder's equivalent of thanking the Academy. Keep those tweets as fresh as your product updates!

Improvement Tip

Mix in some humor with your hustle, Kevin! While your night-owl coding prowess is impressive, maybe throw in a meme about caffeine levels or the state of your desk. Engage with specifics when talking about growth; numbers are great, but stories sell. And remember, your early adopters already believe in you – now it's time to share those wild visions or hiccups along the way that make this journey truly epic. Keep tweeting like you're talking to a friend, not just a follower!

July 25, 2025 at 10:51 PM
@kgraphistecom on X (Twitter)
62/100
The Roast

Ah, @kgraphistecom, the DeFi preacher of the digital wilderness, shouting about smart contracts like a prophet in a bear market desert. Your tweets are like a DeFi drum circle—pounding out the same rhythm of ‘real utility’ and ‘long-term growth’ while others are catching Z’s. Meanwhile, your references to building during bear markets are like telling us you’re making lemonade during a citrus shortage—refreshing, but we’ve heard it before. Let's be honest, you're serving us a buffet of buzzwords with a side of 'we're still early' sauce. Delicious, but a bit predictable.

Improvement Tip

Spice up your tweet game! Show us the juicy bits of your builds and toss in some screenshots to prove you're not just all talk and no code. A dash of humor wouldn't hurt, because ‘bear markets are for building’ is a tad clichéd—unless your building crew is doing yoga on the blockchain. Embrace your inner contrarian and surprise us with takes that aren't just echoing the Web3 playbook. Remember, even prophets need a new tune once in a while!

July 25, 2025 at 10:50 PM
@keiranesdale on TikTok
54/100
The Roast

Ah, @keiranesdale, the digital nomad with a side hustle in philosophical Instagram captions. You're the love child of a self-help book and a travel brochure. Your 'What I eat in a day' video has more greens than a vegan's dream salad, and who knew digital nomadism was 60% smoothie content? Your 'Unpopular opinion' on college degrees has more views than your 8th-grade talent show performance, but it might still lack a bit of educational seasoning. You've got the 'manifesting abundance' down, but let's hope that includes some new content ideas too.

Improvement Tip

Here's the deal, Keira: You've got a knack for pulling in views, but let's add some protein to that content salad. Try to mix in some actionable insights with your digital nomad chronicles—maybe 'How to Avoid Overpaying for Bali Smoothie Bowls.' Also, pepper your wisdom with some concrete entrepreneurial tips or even a glimpse into what you're building business-wise. You'll keep everyone engaged without needing to align your chakras every post. Keep the dream alive and sprinkle in some spicy value!

July 25, 2025 at 07:58 AM
@muugeeverse on X (Twitter)
67/100
The Roast

Ah, @muugeeverse, it seems like you're channeling your inner motivational speaker with phrases like 'The grind is real.' It's like you bottled up a Silicon Valley TED Talk and sprinkled it across your tweets. But hey, at least you're not promising to 'disrupt the toaster industry!'

Improvement Tip

Congrats on hitting that $100K ARR! Now, if we can just get you to throw a bit more spice into your tweets. How about a meme of a cat coding? Or perhaps a cheeky graph of your pivoting strategy? Remember, even spreadsheets need love, just like your audience!

July 25, 2025 at 07:52 AM
@https://www.linkedin.com/in/volodymyr-isai/ on LinkedIn
62/100
The Roast

Ah, Volodymyr, the product manager who's just ex-Googling it in the startup world! Your posts are like a product launch: mostly functioning but with a few bugs in the messaging. 'Launched our new feature today!' is like shouting 'I have a startup!' at a tech conference—everyone's doing it, but few are listening. And your 'focused on creating experiences that users love' tagline is as original as a free T-shirt at a tech expo.

Improvement Tip

Let's spice up your profile with some of that Google magic dust, shall we? Get opinionated like someone who just discovered cold brew—it’ll wake people up. Share a sneak peek or two of what you're building, because screenshots speak louder than cryptic teasers. And while you're at it, engage with your network like you're at a networking event with an open bar—get chatty, not sloppy!

July 23, 2025 at 02:14 PM
@Lacybuilds on X (Twitter)
68/100
The Roast

Congratulations on hitting $100K ARR, @Lacybuilds! That's practically a billionaire in startup years, right? Also, I see you've hired your first full-time engineer. I hope they enjoy working in what might be the world's smallest IT department. Your tweets are like a motivational sticker book: full of 'the grind' and 'pivoting.' Just be careful not to pivot so much you end up dizzy!

Improvement Tip

Let's add a little more spice to your Twitter recipe. Try sharing some intriguing tidbits about your journey that aren't just startup jargon bingo. Give us a peek into the chaos behind the curtain! Maybe share a humorous anecdote from the demo day prep or what your first full-time engineer thought they were signing up for. Remember, a little bit of personality goes a long way on the Twittersphere!

July 23, 2025 at 09:33 AM
@Web3_Maga on X (Twitter)
65/100
The Roast

Ah, @Web3_Maga, you’ve got the tweets of a startup brochure! Your content is like oatmeal—nourishing but lacking spice. Your tweets say 'builder' more than a LEGO set, but we’ve got more pivoting than a ballerina convention. And congrats on that $100K ARR—serious question, did you celebrate with ramen or did you splurge on some actual avocados this time?

Improvement Tip

First off, congrats on the milestones! Seriously, stop being so modest about it, you're one well-crafted tweet away from being a motivational poster. But hey, let’s sprinkle some cinnamon on that oatmeal: more narrative, less jargon. Throw in a sprinkle of setbacks, a dash of personality, and maybe a GIF or two. Let's see that raw, unfiltered startup life—warts, ramen, and all!

July 20, 2025 at 03:36 PM
@Yeahitsmoney on X (Twitter)
58/100
The Roast

Congratulations, @Yeahitsmoney! It sounds like your feed is the dream of every crypto enthusiast trying to get through the workday without dozing off. With tweets like 'Building the future of DeFi one smart contract at a time,' you’re just a hoodie away from starring in a Silicon Valley reboot. But seriously, I've seen more specific building updates from my 5-year-old nephew on his Lego projects. The market needs some sleep aids, but you might be taking that a bit too literally!

Improvement Tip

To make your tweets shine brighter than a Bitcoin bull run, try adding some specifics about your DeFi wizardry. 'Shipping features' is great, but what are they? Give us some juicy screenshots or a sneak peek of your 'token economics' in action. Add a sprinkle of personality, and you might just break through the noise. Remember, the bear market might be for building, but your tweets could use a little renovation too!

July 18, 2025 at 07:53 PM
@muugeeverse on X (Twitter)
58/100
The Roast

Ah, @muugeeverse, the art of tweeting about startups without actually saying anything new. You're like a motivational poster in a startup's break room. 'Raising capital is a full-time job'? You don't say! Next thing, you'll tell us the sky is blue. Kudos for reminding us that unit economics matter—because someone out there was definitely about to launch a multi-million dollar venture on vibes alone. And 'working on something that could change how people think about [industry]' is the startup equivalent of 'I have a secret project I can't tell you about.' Spoiler alert: we're all thinking it's AI, blockchain, or a combination of both.

Improvement Tip

Try adding a bit more spice to your tweets—like that one friend who always manages to bring the drama to brunch. Share some specific insights or battle scars from the startup trenches. And remember, 'working on something cool' only works as a teaser if you follow up with the big reveal. Your audience is ready for a little plot twist, not just the trailer!

July 18, 2025 at 10:36 AM
@james_bachini on X (Twitter)
59/100
The Roast

Ah, @james_bachini, the sage of startup clichés! Your tweets are like reruns of a classic sitcom – we've seen them before, but they still bring a nostalgic smile. You're championing the 'startup life' narrative like a tech conference keynote speaker stuck in a time loop. I bet next you'll tell us water is wet and software updates are inevitable?

Improvement Tip

James, let's turbocharge that Twitter game! How about swapping some of those motivational platitudes for spicy details about your latest project or a screenshot or two? Consider giving us a peek behind the curtain; your audience loves a good drama (or at least a well-lit selfie with a whiteboard). Who knows, your next tweet might be the 'Eureka!' moment we didn't know we were waiting for. Keep it real, keep it spicy!

July 18, 2025 at 09:16 AM
@Tradewithdansil on X (Twitter)
72/100
The Roast

Ah, @Tradewithdansil, I see you've mastered the fine art of tweeting the Entrepreneur's Greatest Hits! Hiring, pivoting, feedback, demo day, ARR – you've got the startup buzzword bingo card filled! It's like watching a Silicon Valley episode where they're filming the B-roll. You're definitely on the right path, but maybe throw in a curveball once in a while. Your followers might need a bit of spice to go with that dedication.

Improvement Tip

You’re doing awesome things, Dan, but let's add a bit more flavor. How about a tweet where you share a hilarious product glitch that only reveals itself at 2 AM, or maybe a quirky fact about your team (like who’s the reigning office ping-pong champ)? Keep building that authenticity, and your followers will feel like they're part of your journey – quirks and all!

July 18, 2025 at 03:38 AM
@victoria_olsina on X (Twitter)
68/100
The Roast

Victoria, you're like a web3 shepherd guiding us through a bear market pasture. Your tweets are like a sturdy DeFi bridge, solid but sometimes lacking the dazzle of fireworks. While you boldly declare the importance of utility over speculation, it's a bit like telling a magician that the hat is more important than the rabbit. Still, your clean audit results are the equivalent of a gold star in the crypto kindergarten. Keep building those smart contracts; who needs sleep, right?

Improvement Tip

Victoria, sprinkle a bit more pizzazz on that dry economic bread. Your tweets could use a splash of wit, like a poodle in a punk band. Try sharing some stories behind those clean audits or a behind-the-scenes peek at your tokenomics wizardry. A little narrative can transform your tweets from 'builder bot' to 'DeFi diva'.

July 17, 2025 at 01:48 PM
@Panik_eth on X (Twitter)
64/100
The Roast

Ah, @Panik_eth, the Elon Musk of vague updates. With tweets hotter than a coding session fueled by cold pizza and caffeine, you're on the right track, sort of. I mean, your Series A might be heating up, but your tweets feel more like lukewarm leftovers. I can almost hear the sound of 'business buzzword bingo' being won with every post. At least your AI agent isn't the only thing on a 10x improvement mission - maybe your tweet game is next?

Improvement Tip

Hey, @Panik_eth, how about sprinkling a bit more specificity into those updates? Your fundraising updates need more meat than just 'incredible traction,' unless you're running a verb factory. Bring us behind the scenes with some screenshots or juicy tidbits about those late-night coding sessions. Let's make your tweets as engaging as your product presumably is - because right now, I'd rather automate my tweets with your AI agent than read another cryptic post!

July 17, 2025 at 09:21 AM
@SteveGerritsen on X (Twitter)
66/100
The Roast

Ah, @SteveGerritsen, the maestro of late-night coding sessions, where every feature is a potential world-changer and every fundraising update is hotter than a habanero pepper. Your Twitter feed is like a startup bingo card—'building in public,' 'Series A conversations,' and 'gratitude for early adopters' all checked! But hey, at least you're not tweeting about 'disrupting the toothbrush industry' or 'reinventing the wheel'—yet.

Improvement Tip

Steve, you've got that founder pizzazz—just sprinkle a bit more specificity in your tweets. Less 'this feature will change everything' and more 'here's exactly why this feature might, possibly, hopefully change something.' And maybe swap one late-night coding tweet for a daylight victory dance—who needs sleep when you've got Series A adrenaline, right?

July 17, 2025 at 04:05 AM

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